Meeting
the perfect guy is the dream of many women and
Dr. D Ivan Young, puts it, “When you finally meet a well-mannered,
handsome, attentive man, a man who makes you feel more than good ... a
man who makes you feel alive ... he might just be “the perfect guy.” He
stands out from all other men. Everything he says and does is right. His
every move centres on all the things you want and need.
“‘Indescribable’ best describes the powerful chemistry between the two of you. Each moment you spend with him makes you feel as if you’re experiencing heaven on earth. Making things even better is the irrefutable fact that you “know,” without a shadow of doubt, that this man is totally and equally interested in you, too.”
However, before one concludes on the seeming flawlessness of a gentleman, it helps to take certain precautions into consideration.
Making excuses
For women who have spent a while being alone, or for those who have fixed qualities of their ideal man, when they meet a great guy, there is the tendency to excuse some of his flaws, no matter how damning. Some women find themselves seeing what they want to see, rather than what is really being projected and this usually proves to be a mistake. As Young puts it, “if you find yourself justifying or compensating for things he does or says, that’s your first mistake.”
Too much attention
While every man is unique in his actions, there are certain character traits to expect, just by the fact that he is a man.
“Any time you call a man and he always answers the phone, or he responds to all of your text right away, or you ask him to do something that you know most men would not be interested in doing and he quickly says yes, that’s a long way from normal,” Young insists.
Accommodating a woman’s requests some of the time is what is expected and normal for many men and for a man who panders to your every beck and call, “that’s not normal, nor is it realistic. If anything that’s a sign he may have a hidden agenda, or he be controlling and/or obsessive. This may enchant at first, but later, it’s going to blow up in your face.”
Over-communication
Men are not usually great talkers, especially when it comes to expressing their feelings in a relationship. So, when a man calls, texts or wants to be with a woman, most of the time, something is not right.
“Most men don’t like talking on the phone, nor do they desire a lot of conversation. Don’t confuse interaction with obsession. Many times, controlling men use over communication as a means of keeping tabs on you. The moment you make yourself unavailable, his attentive behaviour can quickly shift prying and stalking.”
Too much passion
Intense confrontations, followed by intense make-up sex are not normal, especially when they happen often. While it makes one assume that the relationship has potential, especially in terms of emotional connectivity, after a while, the passion eventually drains the life out of the relationship, and the intensity may quickly evolve into hostility.
No discernible flaws
In Young’s view, “Most men have at least two or more bad habits. He either swears too much, is in love with a hobby or a sport, is a bit sloppy, or is in some way irresponsible. Put mildly, normal men have some type of flaw. Any time you date a man who’s so good at masking his flaws, you need to ask yourself what else he is hiding.”
Don’t lose sight of reality
“There’s no such thing as the perfect mate, but there is such thing as the perfect man for you. First, be aware of this one simple fact – he’s not perfect. Before you get paranoid and lock yourself down and/or run off a good guy who you’re really attracted to, differentiate someone who validates your ego from someone who’s a great fit for you. The goal is to help you use your common sense and not abandon it just because Mr. Perfect meets everything on your check list.
“Most women end up wasting days, weeks, months and even years of their lives being stranded in burdensome, unfulfilling relationships due to the fact that they overly projected their desires on the wrong damn man. This happens simply because he represented that woman’s version of what characteristics make up the perfect man.
“Anytime you, or any woman, hurriedly forms an infatuation-based, love sick, mental picture of someone, you are making two huge mistakes at once. One, you’re giving someone a road map to your vulnerabilities. Two, being emotionally driven paralyses your ability to spot obvious warning signs.”
Young recommends two things for women: First, be that which you seek. Second, be wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove. True and real love exists, but it takes time and patience to get it right.
“‘Indescribable’ best describes the powerful chemistry between the two of you. Each moment you spend with him makes you feel as if you’re experiencing heaven on earth. Making things even better is the irrefutable fact that you “know,” without a shadow of doubt, that this man is totally and equally interested in you, too.”
However, before one concludes on the seeming flawlessness of a gentleman, it helps to take certain precautions into consideration.
Making excuses
For women who have spent a while being alone, or for those who have fixed qualities of their ideal man, when they meet a great guy, there is the tendency to excuse some of his flaws, no matter how damning. Some women find themselves seeing what they want to see, rather than what is really being projected and this usually proves to be a mistake. As Young puts it, “if you find yourself justifying or compensating for things he does or says, that’s your first mistake.”
Too much attention
While every man is unique in his actions, there are certain character traits to expect, just by the fact that he is a man.
“Any time you call a man and he always answers the phone, or he responds to all of your text right away, or you ask him to do something that you know most men would not be interested in doing and he quickly says yes, that’s a long way from normal,” Young insists.
Accommodating a woman’s requests some of the time is what is expected and normal for many men and for a man who panders to your every beck and call, “that’s not normal, nor is it realistic. If anything that’s a sign he may have a hidden agenda, or he be controlling and/or obsessive. This may enchant at first, but later, it’s going to blow up in your face.”
Over-communication
Men are not usually great talkers, especially when it comes to expressing their feelings in a relationship. So, when a man calls, texts or wants to be with a woman, most of the time, something is not right.
“Most men don’t like talking on the phone, nor do they desire a lot of conversation. Don’t confuse interaction with obsession. Many times, controlling men use over communication as a means of keeping tabs on you. The moment you make yourself unavailable, his attentive behaviour can quickly shift prying and stalking.”
Too much passion
Intense confrontations, followed by intense make-up sex are not normal, especially when they happen often. While it makes one assume that the relationship has potential, especially in terms of emotional connectivity, after a while, the passion eventually drains the life out of the relationship, and the intensity may quickly evolve into hostility.
No discernible flaws
In Young’s view, “Most men have at least two or more bad habits. He either swears too much, is in love with a hobby or a sport, is a bit sloppy, or is in some way irresponsible. Put mildly, normal men have some type of flaw. Any time you date a man who’s so good at masking his flaws, you need to ask yourself what else he is hiding.”
Don’t lose sight of reality
“There’s no such thing as the perfect mate, but there is such thing as the perfect man for you. First, be aware of this one simple fact – he’s not perfect. Before you get paranoid and lock yourself down and/or run off a good guy who you’re really attracted to, differentiate someone who validates your ego from someone who’s a great fit for you. The goal is to help you use your common sense and not abandon it just because Mr. Perfect meets everything on your check list.
“Most women end up wasting days, weeks, months and even years of their lives being stranded in burdensome, unfulfilling relationships due to the fact that they overly projected their desires on the wrong damn man. This happens simply because he represented that woman’s version of what characteristics make up the perfect man.
“Anytime you, or any woman, hurriedly forms an infatuation-based, love sick, mental picture of someone, you are making two huge mistakes at once. One, you’re giving someone a road map to your vulnerabilities. Two, being emotionally driven paralyses your ability to spot obvious warning signs.”
Young recommends two things for women: First, be that which you seek. Second, be wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove. True and real love exists, but it takes time and patience to get it right.
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